Stuff Today - Issue 7486
Sunday 24 January 2021
Talk Like A Grizzled Prospector Day
GLUTT LODGE, n.The place where food can be stored after having a tooth extracted. Some Arabs can go without sustenance for up to six weeks on a full glutt lodge, hence the expression 'the shit of the dessert'.
NECTAR, n.A drink served at banquets of the Olympian deities. The secret of its preparation is lost, but the modern Kentuckians believe that they come pretty near to a knowledge of its chief ingredient.
SURVIVOR, n.A buoyant stool which resists all attempts to send it to the beach.
Astonishingly Uninteresting Fact
Poem Of The Day
Poopee poopee poopee poo
Oh poopee poopee poo
Poopee Poopee poopee poo
Oh Poopee poopee Peeeeeeeee!
Pooing is easy
Pooing is fun
Pooing is brown
It comes out of your bum.
Pooing is magic
Pooing is great
Pooing is tasty
When it's done on a plate.
Poo poo poo your pants
Fill your pants with poo
Smellily smellily smellily smellily
Now I smell like you
Mary had a little poo
She strained for quite a while
She strained so hard she went quite blue
And now she has big piles
Poo poo crap sheep
Have you any shit?
Yes sir, yes sir,
Bags of it
The wheels on the poo go round and...
Show me the way to go home,
I'm tired and I really need a log
Oh I had a vindaloo about an hour ago
And I don't half need my bog,
My pants are becoming quite brown
And I've got a turtle's head
And you'll always hear me singing this song,
As I shit inside your bed
("all together now!")
Little Boy Blue has lost his poo
And doesn't know where it's gone
It went with his herd, they ran off with his turd,
It was brown and sticky and long.
Give it some slack, maybe it will come back,
Free it and it will return,
Or have a quick curry, and try not to worry,
But just the one or it might rather burn.
Little Miss Muffet
Sat on her toilet
Her knickers were down by her knees
She let out a moan
And then a big groan
And shat like she had some disease
Somewhere over the u-bend
Turds fly over the u-bend
Why then oh why can't I?
If happy little poo-turds fly,
Beyond the u-bend,
Why Oh Why
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