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Stuff Today - Issue 7569

Saturday 17 April 2021

Abstain from sex. Any child conceived today should be born on Christmas Day, when hospitals are staffed by drunks and will anyway curse you 'til eternity.

Today's Lepton: Tau Neutrino

The Deeper Meaning Of Liff

IBLE, adj.

Clever but lazy.

The Devil's Dictionary

PHONOGRAPH, n.

An irritating toy that restores life to dead noises.

Roger's Profanisaurus

HALF CAFF, n.

The strength of a fellow's spooch immediately post-vasectomy, ie. before he's crashed his yoghurt truck the requisite twenty times to ensure he's completely decaff.

Astonishingly Uninteresting Fact

About two hundred years before the birth of Christ, the Druids used mistletoe to celebrate that winter was approaching

Poem Of The Day

Limerick Template

There once was an X from place B,
Who satisfied predicate P,
The X did thing A,
In a specified way,
Resulting in circumstance C.

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