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Stuff Today - Issue 7486

Sunday 24 January 2021

Talk Like A Grizzled Prospector Day - visit: www.youtube.com/watch?v=MWvr5Osz43k

Today's Richard Dadd Painting: The Faery Feller's Master Stroke

The Deeper Meaning Of Liff

GLUTT LODGE, n.

The place where food can be stored after having a tooth extracted. Some Arabs can go without sustenance for up to six weeks on a full glutt lodge, hence the expression 'the shit of the dessert'.

The Devil's Dictionary

NECTAR, n.

A drink served at banquets of the Olympian deities. The secret of its preparation is lost, but the modern Kentuckians believe that they come pretty near to a knowledge of its chief ingredient.

Juno drank a cup of nectar,
But the draught did not affect her.
Juno drank a cup of rye --
Then she bad herself good-bye.
J.G.

Roger's Profanisaurus

SURVIVOR, n.

A buoyant stool which resists all attempts to send it to the beach.

Astonishingly Uninteresting Fact

The word Nike comes from Greek Mythology. Nike is the goddess of victory and was often depicted as a small winged figure whom the goddess Athene carried

Poem Of The Day

Poo Medley

Poopee poopee poopee poo

Oh poopee poopee poo

Poopee Poopee poopee poo

Oh Poopee poopee Peeeeeeeee!


Pooing is easy
Pooing is fun
Pooing is brown
It comes out of your bum.
Pooing is magic
Pooing is great
Pooing is tasty
When it's done on a plate.


Poo poo poo your pants
Fill your pants with poo
Smellily smellily smellily smellily
Now I smell like you


Mary had a little poo
She strained for quite a while
She strained so hard she went quite blue
And now she has big piles


Poo poo crap sheep
Have you any shit?
Yes sir, yes sir,
Bags of it


The wheels on the poo go round and...
(maybe not)


Show me the way to go home,
I'm tired and I really need a log
Oh I had a vindaloo about an hour ago
And I don't half need my bog,
My pants are becoming quite brown
And I've got a turtle's head
And you'll always hear me singing this song,
As I shit inside your bed
("all together now!")


Little Boy Blue has lost his poo
And doesn't know where it's gone
It went with his herd, they ran off with his turd,
It was brown and sticky and long.
Give it some slack, maybe it will come back,
Free it and it will return,
Or have a quick curry, and try not to worry,
But just the one or it might rather burn.


Little Miss Muffet
Sat on her toilet
Her knickers were down by her knees
She let out a moan
And then a big groan
And shat like she had some disease


Somewhere over the u-bend
Poo-turds fly
Turds fly over the u-bend
Why then oh why can't I?

If happy little poo-turds fly,
Beyond the u-bend,
Why Oh Why
Caaaaaaaaaaaaaan't I?




- Kate Rancid (b. 1973)

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