Classical | Contemporary | Humour | Shite

Jemma's Arse

What's this strutting down the street
Looking oh so good to eat,
Spreading happiness and bliss
To everybody in Leeds 6.
'Neath skin tight pants or shortened skirt
What could ever be so pert?
Standing proud on legs of spacker
It's Jemma's arse and what a cracker!

From miles around you see them running
To view that tush that's just so stunning.
No other butt could be so pleasing
Or ideally made for squeezing.
Juicy as a piece of fruit,
Did e'er you see a thing so cute?
Of spots its surface is bereft
And parted by an awesome cleft.

Down the Fenton oft it goes
To see the people that it knows,
Or maybe to the Royal Park
To join the lock-in after dark.
On summer days it does nice things
Like sitting in the park on swings
Where people raise their joints and toast
The bottom that they love the most.

O' to be a pair of briefs
And clothe those buttocks underneath
Or better still a piece of poo
And thence those cheeks could I pass through.
So as I sit and cast my mind
Upon that sumptuous sweet behind,
That perfect bum without a fault,
Excuse me while I shoot my bolt.

Blort. Blort

Mike Stools (b. 1962)