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I Walked On My Own Feet A Bit

I walked on my own feet a bit
It really was quite novel
'Twas nice to take the air and leave
My rancid scummy hovel.
I'd been asleep a hundred years
And missed a century
And, oh, what wondrous things there were
Around for me to see.

A carriage minus horses
A grape without a pip
A little pill that sends you on
A mind-expanding trip.
An episode of Star Trek
On a digital TV
A frozen apple crumble
From the hands of Sara Lee

The internet! A site with poems
That are completely Shite.
A washing powder that can get
Your clothes completely white.
A plastic card that gets you cash
Directly from a bank
Magazines of naked chicks
To help you have a wank.

Then soon enough my day was done
I staggered home to bed
Another hundred years sleep
I need to feed my head.
And as I lay back down I thought
Of all these glorious things
Can't wait to see just what the next
One hundred years brings.

Mike Stools (b. 1962)