Stuff Today - Issue 6872
Tuesday 21 May 2019
ROOSEBECK, n.Useful all-purpose emergency word. When a child asks 'Daddy, what's that bird/flower/funny thing that man's wearing?' you simply reply 'It's a roosebeck, darling.'
AFFLICTION, n.An acclimatizing process preparing the soul for another and bitter world.
SUPERMARKET SMACK, n.Special Brew.
Astonishingly Uninteresting Fact
Poem Of The Day
On being a student...
Our lounge had half a motorbike
on newspaper on the floor
There was a guy living under our stairs
he was there for a month or more
And a Smiths fan called Alan
studying to be an architect
built a tomb for himself out of beer cans
in the garden one night while wrecked
There were hotknives in the kitchen
and never a scrap of food to be seen
strangers all over the house
new life forms destroyed, if ever the cooker was cleaned
Beer more urgent than heating.
the bath full of cold Diamond White
The house was a shithole
but it was a party every night.
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